"We've successfully nurtured another one to adulthood."
That was the opening sentence of a Facebook post my wife put up at the weekend when my son, Harvey, celebrated his 18th birthday.
What a fantastic way to view parenting – creating a nurturing environment for them to learn, grow, stay safe, and become functioning members of society. (I didn't say "fully functioning" there – I mean he's only just turned 18. He still spends an inordinate amount of time in bed and on his computer! But functioning, nonetheless.)
Her words got me thinking: isn't that exactly what we do as leaders and colleagues in our working lives? A key part of our role should be creating that growth environment for others to learn and flourish – become functioning members of the team.
But here's where it gets interesting. Do we always approach leadership this way? Or do we suffer from the same problems we face as parents – a lack of clarity around what our role actually is, pressure to do better without knowing how, and no clear understanding of the skills we need to be good at our job, never mind the chance to develop them.
The learning curve we don't talk about
Now I think of it – why did no-one take me on a two-day retreat to understand how to "parent self, parent others, parent the family"? Where was my coach?
I muddled along, learning from my mistakes. Poor Mollie – my eldest – she was the test subject! Harvey got the benefit of our "fail forward parenting."
The difference is, in the main, our kids stick with us. At least for 18 years. They give us space and time to learn, grow, and become better parents along the way.
People in our teams can't and won't wait that long. Or if they do – we often fall into bad habits together, creating dysfunction instead of growth.
Why we can't afford to muddle through
This is why you're never too early to start understanding what it means to be a manager of others – a nurturer of talent. It's why my one-day introduction to line management for aspiring managers is really in demand at the moment. Organisations know that we have to get this right, and we need to equip people early.
Because the world isn't slowing down to give us 18 years to figure it out:
Geopolitical instability creates uncertainty that requires steady leadership
Bigger and bigger mergers and acquisitions mean rapid team changes
Technology is reshaping how we work faster than ever
These forces create an urgent need for great leaders and managers. Without them, you won't have a business to welcome to adulthood.
A different way to do this
So, here's what I'm wondering: What if we approached leadership development the same way we approach parenting – recognising it's one of the most important roles we'll ever take on, but also one we're rarely trained for?
What if instead of throwing people into management roles and hoping they figure it out, we created that nurturing environment for them to learn and grow as leaders?
Because here's what I've learned through my own transition from corporate to consulting: the best leaders aren't the ones who have all the answers. They're the ones who create space for others to find their own.
If you're stepping into a leadership role (or know someone who is), what's one thing you wish you'd known from day one? I'd love to hear your thoughts – because we're all still learning how to nurture talent to adulthood.
