Leaders as Humans: Holding it Together

What happens when the person everyone turns to for answers feels like they're falling apart?

Smiling on the outside, quietly falling apart inside? Setting direction whilst feeling lost? Hourly identity 'code switching'?

Any of that resonating?

This week I'm exploring the theme of Leaders as Humans. Today: Holding it Together.

There's a persona that many of us have been positioned to wear when we don the cloak of leadership. The strong, calm, in-control leader who has all the answers. Our customers need us to assure them we can solve their problems. The markets need to see confidence to continue investing in our businesses. Our bosses want to rely on us. Our peers need solutions, not problems. And our teams? They need all of that.

Or do they?

Remember, we are ALL those people too – do you place unreasonable expectations on others? Or do you realise leaders are human too?

I remember one specific period where I was helpfully reporting into two different members of the ExCo – a CHRO and a Chief Talent Officer (org design at its finest). What it meant was I had two leaders with distinct views and vastly different experiences. And they rarely agreed.

In the end, I found myself having to manage them! I had to be the one to broker consensus, bring them together, consolidate their inputs into one coherent strategy for talent, leadership, learning and employee experience. Oh, and provide clear direction for my own team and the business.

It was exhausting and it slowly broke me. I felt so alone.

But I wasn't. My team knew what was happening, and they encouraged me and gave me space to be vulnerable. To share. To talk.

And what happened? Well, I certainly didn't lose any "authority" or ability to help them shape their goals. What happened was I felt less alone, we became stronger as a team, and we actually excelled at delivery.

So I ask: What if strong leadership isn't about having it all together, but about being honest about what you don't?

What we leave behind to help others

All of these perceived expectations take their toll on us. That's a big emotional load to hold onto – one that we often carry in silence because we think that's what leadership requires.

How do others manage this emotional weight of leadership? I'm genuinely curious.

I'm building out my offerings for supporting and developing true, human, rounded leaders. I'm developing new programmes, and I'm increasingly working 1:1 in the "messy" space. I know there's a huge amount of research and insight out there – but it's the nuggets, the examples, the real stories that excite me.

If this is a real, current reality for you – get in touch. Let's have a chat about how coaching may be able to give you the space to explore these issues with confidence.

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Leaders as Humans: Safety

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"We've successfully nurtured another one to adulthood."