What do you want?

Why Senior Leaders Need to Answer This Question

No one had asked my client that before, and it made him visibly pause.

We'd been working together for a while. He's a senior leader who'd recently stepped into the number one role. Everyone in his business looks to him now for guidance and direction. But he's also part of a wider group of businesses – and they want something very different from him.

It's a tension that many senior leaders will recognise.

Security vs profit. Stability vs growth. Long-term sustainability vs exit strategy.

Sound familiar?

The Peacekeeper Trap

The reality is, my client was stuck in peacekeeper mode. And it was honestly exhausting.

He was super clear on what everyone else wanted and saw his role as trying to spin all those plates. Be strong. Shoulder the weight. Because that's what he's paid for, right?

But here's what I've learned working with senior leaders: when we don't define for ourselves what we want and believe in, it becomes very difficult for others to know what we stand for.

As much as we try to keep the peace, all we're really doing is creating uncertainty for the people around us.

They're looking to us for direction, and what they're getting is a mirror reflecting back whatever they want to see. That might feel diplomatic in the moment, but it's not leadership. And it certainly isn't sustainable.

Clarity Doesn't Mean Control

Now, I'm not advocating for the alpha leader model – the one who sets out a grand vision and drags everyone along with them whether they like it or not. That's not what this is about.

But there is something important about being clear on what you stand for. Because when you are, you create the conditions for meaningful conversation.

Instead of managing everyone else's competing agendas, you can engage people in genuine dialogue about how their goals might connect to yours. You create space for something to emerge that's been co-created rather than inherited.

The alternative – trying to be all things to all people – doesn't protect anyone. It just means you end up with a vision (if you can even call it that) that no one really believes in because it's been diluted to the point of meaninglessness.

So What Does He Want?

When I asked my client that question – "what do you want?" – it was the unlock he needed.

I'm not saying we've cracked it yet. But he left that session more energised and ready to forge a new path. There will be more work to come: defining that future, testing it with others, getting people on board.

But for him, that shift represents energy, forward progress, and agency. No longer playing peacekeeper but leading from the front and bringing others with him.

Not because he's imposing his will, but because he's finally clear about what he believes is best for the business – and that clarity gives others something meaningful to respond to.

How This Work Actually Works

People often ask me what coaching looks like in practice. Particularly at senior levels, where the challenges are complex and the stakes are high.

Here's the truth: it's not about me walking you through a predetermined process. If that's what you need, you could just read a book.

What I bring is space. Space to sit with the mess. Space to think out loud without having to perform clarity you don't yet have.

My approach is to sit with you rather than stand over you with a roadmap. We explore the complexity together. I listen, I ask questions that no one else is asking, and I help you identify for yourself what's most important and what you really want to achieve.

Only at that point do we start working through how you might actually do it.

This isn't about me having the answers. It's about creating the conditions where you can find yours. Because the reality is, you're the expert on your business, your context, your constraints.

What you need is someone who can help you see what you already know but haven't quite articulated yet.

When Keeping the Peace Costs Too Much

If you're a senior leader right now and you recognise that dynamic – stuck playing peacekeeper when you know you should be leading – here's what I want you to know.

The question "what do you want?" shouldn't feel impossible to answer.

And if it does, that's exactly what this work is for. Giving you the space to work out what you actually want, not just what everyone else needs from you.

If that resonates, get in touch. We can spend 30 minutes unpicking what's really going on and whether coaching could help you move forward.

Because the leaders I work with don't need more advice. They need space to think, someone to challenge their assumptions, and permission to want something for themselves and their organisations.

Sometimes that starts with a simple question.