Sit on my wheel
Today I want to share a lesson I learned about me. It was a lesson that came from a virtual peloton: one made up of friends, clients, and ex-colleagues.
Roll back 4 weeks. I was curious. Blind spots can boost or bind us, and I sensed that I didn’t know enough about who I was to those who know me.
I’m 22 months into building the business, and I love the work I do with leaders, their teams, and their HR folk. “Consulting and Coaching” it says on the website – but why would someone work with me over anyone else?
So, at the risk of channelling some big “main character energy”, I decided to ask:
What would you come to me for?
I emailed several people, who I felt knew me well enough in different contexts to get a rounded view of what they thought. Of course, I knew I ran the risk of getting the halo view back from people being nice. But equally, I was curious about what they would say.
What they told me wasn’t what I expected back.
In my head, the exercise was all about the kind of work I did and the specific niches I fitted into. But what came back was less about what I did and more about how I did it, who I am, and how I made them feel.
It was a lot more personal and it also reminded me of who I am as a cyclist.
I’m not the high-performance, semi-pro, climber-type. I’m a “diesel”. Stick me on the front in the wind and sit on my wheel. I’m the rider who’ll get you there – especially if we are taking on some big days together. I’m the one who sorts out the routes, books the accommodation, and always has a back-up coffee stop planned.
The people who emailed me back weren’t talking about cycling, but what they also saw in me was:
Reliability: ‘You never leave me wondering whether something has been seen or forgotten.’
Challenge: ‘I loved coming to you for a challenge to my thinking and assumptions.’
A kind pair of hands: ‘I’m not implying soft. I’ve watched you get some big characters on side, and I think this is key.’
They say feedback is a gift. And sometimes you don’t want to open it. But how often have you regretted unwrapping that parcel? (Apart from that 2013 annual review 360-feedback I got from you, Bob – you know what you said…)
We rarely know what people value about us. Often, it’s too scary to ask, too vulnerable. But how many times have you been the one wishing you could find the right words – and the right moment – to help someone know why you follow their wheel?
Which means someone out there is probably wishing the same about you. And you probably know who that is. So, if you were to name them – who would they be?
Here’s my loving challenge for you. Once you have that name in your head – go and ask them: ‘What do you turn to me for?’
It’s not until we really hear what others have to say that it goes in.
